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There it is… I’ve drawn it on the ground… I’m refusing to cross it.

As is our weekly ritual, Amy and I got on the Wii Fit and weighed ourselves. In a drastic turn of events, I gained 6.4 pounds in one week. I honestly know that it was a combination of many bad food/drink choices (hello? I had two glasses of White Sangria on Friday night, then a large glass of Sangria and a Margarita on Saturday night; just as examples of the drink choices). I am truly glad I had not experienced a gout attack. I spent all day today making mostly healthy choices (onion rings and ice cream excepted) and drinking only water or unsweet tea.

And yet, here we are (or is that Wii are?). I stood on the Wii Fit board and it told me I had gained 6.4 pounds to weigh around 283 pounds. My old starting point was 319, which means I’m down 37 pounds… I have on my keyring a small token that proves that at one point while on WeightWatchers, I was down 50 pounds.

That means I’ve gained back 13 pounds. So I’ve drawn the line. That line is sitting on 284, and I’m NOT crossing it. I refuse.

My first decision immediately after that was to go to the kitchen and prepare 4 sandwiches for my lunches for the week. I’ve been eating out WAAAAY too much. It has to stop. My breakfasts will consist of either cold cereal at home or oatmeal at work; no more stopping at Chick-Fil-A or McDonald’s or Braum’s for “wreckfast”. I’m taking sandwiches and pickled okra (found I love the stuff and, other than high-sodium, is a good snacking choice). I will drink only water, unsweet tea, and 1% milk.

I need to stop working so much overtime (though I may see that drop some anyways unless another “high-crisis” project comes up this week). That’s been forcing me to pick up dinner and eat much too late. Either it’s dinner by 7pm or not at all.

Hello, sand? Yeah, I know… I messed up your surface a little bit, but I won’t be making any footprints on the other side of that line… I’m walking the other way.

(cross posted on webcudgel.com)

I know… who is this guy who’s posting here?  Actually, I used to blog a lot about my weight-loss journey until I hit a few snags in the road and virtually quit blogging at all.  However, though I had pretty much stopped focusing on weight-loss, I had not given up on what I had loved when I finally quit blogging… which is running.

Since September of last year, I have completed two 5K runs (got a medal in one, but I was one of two in my age group), one 5mile run (got a medal as well.. one of three in my weight group), and two half-marathons (got finisher’s medals, but did not place).  Pretty darn good since I’m still around 270 pounds.

However, yesterday was my first defeat… not because I didn’t place, but because I did not finish.  I had attempted my first marathon.  Instead of posting the entire thing here (it’s almost 2200 words according to WordPress), I will just link to it to let you read about my experience.

I will attempt to post once in a while… especially as you’ll read some of the outcomes of this event for me personally and know that I haven’t given up.. on running or losing weight (and, as an aside, I bought a new Azuka Touring bike and plan on taking up cycling).  So enjoy below:

http://www.webcudgel.com/defeated-but-not-out-of-the-running

My wife and I made some tough decisions this week. We have to truly cut expenses and anything that is not truly necessary. This meant the farmer’s co-op will make it’s last delivery next Tuesday. We had been throwing some food away because it was too much and we’ve been going out too much also.

After some further discussion, we realized that we had not been getting much out of the Weight-Watchers program, but not to fault the program, only our commitment to it. Since we have not mde any progress in the last several months, we decided that money could best be used to pay off some of our other debts. Therefore, the last Tuesday meeting before Memorial Day weekend will be our last meeting for a while.

We know that it will be very difficult to keep losing without the program, but we have the materials, the knowledge, and the experience of having lost weight. We also know that we have to cut out the restaurant trips (breakfast, lunch and dinner). This means we’ll be cooking at home, and we definitely cook healthier than we consume eating out. In this case, we may actually do better at weight loss by cutting back all of our spending.

So what does this mean for the weekly weigh-ins? Well, that’s where our Wii Fit will come in. It is the most trust-worthy scale we have in the house. Plus, it may encourage us to work out more on it.

Though it seems we’re losing so much by dropping Weight-Watchers, I think the pluses outweigh the minuses right now. We’ll really miss our friends there, but we’ll keep in touch as much as possible and get back to the meetings when we get our lives back in order.

Starting weight: 319.0 lb
Previous weight: 272.4 lb
(two weeks ago)
Current weight: 275.0 lb
Current loss/gain: +2.6 lb
Total loss/gain: -44.0 lb
Distance to 60: 16.0 lb
Distance to Doctor’s WW Goal: 25.0 lb

Cross-posted to WebCudgel.com

Yeah, so I didn’t post last week. Turns out that we got superbusy at the house. You see, we were going to be observing the Passover on Wednesday night. Since we follow the Old Testament observances such as Days of Unleavens, we had to clean out the house of all leavening and leavened products. We do a lot of vacuuming and sweeping and rummaging before it all goes out to the trash. It turned out Tuesday night last week was our last free night to finish all of this before sunset on Thursday when the Days of Unleavens started.

This meant having to skip doing the weekly update and, as you can guess, the rest of the week was way to crazy to get in time to post (I had to give the sermon on Friday, the first Day of Unleavens).

Anyways, all said and done, I’d been treating myself horribly, getting in only one run a week (this is ever since the half-marathon). I’d been eating poorly, getting little sleep and not enough exercise.

If anything, I redeemed myself somewhat. In spite of the potluck at church on Friday (yeah, my wife can make an unbelievably rich chocolate cake with no leavening), the heavier unleavened breads (I made some rye biscuits), and the other really good foods (such as Swedish pancakes, key-lime tea biscuits, butterscotch blondies,… well you get the idea), I got in one run, two walks and managed to neither gain or lose weight this week. So the numbers below are since my last post, but do not reflect the current week, only the previous.

Stress has been bad lately too since one of our team members turned in notice (making two friends I’m losing this week). It’s not been easy. I’m sticking to it though.

Weight-Watchers is having a Momentum Walk-It Challenge encouraging all members to enter a 5K before early June and is giving some pretty cool incentives to do it. It will be nothing for me, but I’m hoping I can get Amy to do one. I know she can do it and it would be fun to do it together.

Starting weight: 319.0 lb
Previous weight: 271.0 lb
(two weeks ago)
Current weight: 272.4 lb
Current loss/gain: +1.4 lb
Total loss/gain: -46.6 lb
Distance to 60: 13.4 lb
Distance to Doctor’s WW Goal: 22.4 lb

Cross-posted to WebCudgel.com

Procrastination is my closest friend and worst enemy. I’ve waited too long to make this post (the race was on March 15th), but I’ve got to get it out before I completely forget the details I want to remember.

Amy and I spent the night at my brother’s house as all four of us (my brother and his wife included) were going to go to the race. The day started bright (well, cloudy actually) and early (not as early as I wanted, but we were up too late the night before) as we all got up and got dressed to leave. I consumed a Kashi Bar before leaving the house and I consumed a banana on the way there.

(more…)

Aaaaand… we’re back.

So I wasn’t actually on any Spring Break (it’s been 17 years since I’ve ever taken one), but I just wasn’t feeling my oats last week. Sure, I had not done any running the week after my half-marathon and gained 1.4 pounds. This week, I got in a couple of runs and a few walks with my lovely wife and only gained 0.6 pounds.

I’m gearing up for some serious losing though. I’m going to increase the frequency and length of my runs. I’ve got an image to maintain. After all, my WW leader now refers to me as one of her “athletes”. I have NEVER had anyone use the word athlete in reference to me except when saying “athlete’s foot”. I’ve still got people asking when my next run is. Some asked me today if I did a race this past weekend!

It is rather humbling that people now expect so much out of me when they used to expect so little (and got it every time). Now I need to deliver.

I had also been bad about my eating. However, that’s no news. We’ve been letting too much of our farmer’s co-op go bad each week and it’s gotten worse in the last few months. Time to break this cycle and get to using that stuff.

I tried one of the kiwi tonight. We have three small bags of them and neither of us has touched them. Am I supposed to eat the fuzzy skin? I’ve only ever seen people eat them in slices after peeled. So I peeled one and ate it like a hard boiled egg… and it was VERY good. I’ve got a new work snack as I’m getting somewhat tired of apples (oh, what? another bag of apples this week? sigh).

I still haven’t posted anything about my half-marathon. I will very soon. I need to get that down before I forget some very special memories.

Starting weight: 319.0 lb
Previous weight: 269.4 lb
(two weeks ago)
Current weight: 271.4 lb
Current loss/gain: +2.0 lb
Total loss/gain: -48.0 lb
Distance to 60: 12.0 lb
Distance to Doctor’s WW Goal: 21.0 lb

Cross-posted to WebCudgel.com

Wow. What a week it has been. I’ve still got a separate post to write reporting the events of this past Sunday, so I don’t want to steal most of the thunder away from that. However, I do want to point out that I’m certain it was key to this week’s loss of 2.4 pounds.

I also met another woman attending the previous WW meeting tonight who was wearing one of the half-marathon shirts all participants received so we got to talk for a while about our running experiences. She did about 8 half-marathons before choosing to finally do a full marathon (she chose to do the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon).

So I lost this week. I also contribute it to making a few good choices. The celebration lunch on Sunday was at Sweet Tomatoes. Dinner that night was a reasonable portion of meatloaf with mashed potatoes and green beans. I still indulged some. However, even after consuming the Clif bar before the run, two Clif shots during the run, water and Gatorade Ultra at the drink stations, I still felt pretty good about the week as a whole.

Now I just need to work harder on losing more weight so I can do even better on the runs and maybe even bigger ones.

Starting weight: 319.0 lb
Previous weight: 271.4 lb
Current weight: 269.4 lb
Current loss/gain: -2.4 lb
Total loss/gain: -50.0 lb
Distance to 60: 10.0 lb
Distance to Doctor’s WW Goal: 19.0 lb

Cross-posted to WebCudgel.com

I love my Wii Fit, but I’ve got to stop weighing myself on it on Sundays. Other than Tuesday/Wednesday nights when I weigh myself on it, that’s the only other day. I got overconfident when the durn thing told me I’d lost 7.5 pounds since my last weighin on it. Granted, it was after my 9.3 mile run on Sunday and all I had had so far that day was 1 Kashi bar and a 32oz Gatorade. I should have waited until that evening to weigh myself on it as I normally would.

So I weigh-in on the scale at Weight-Watchers and I’ve gained 1.6 pounds. I’m not sure if I gained all that in the last couple of days, but I was being very lax in my food choices due to that 7.5 loss. I also drank a ton more water these last few days due to a gout attack that started up Sunday evening (most likely flared up by the run and not having enough water afterwards).

I’m glad I got in the run though. I completed it in 1hr 56min. This gave me a good idea of how long I would take to do the 13.1 miles this coming Sunday. Though they have a time limit of 4 hours for the race, I’m certain I can complete it at around 3 hours. I plan on making that time my goal.

I also need to track again. I’m not tracking my food intake and it is getting out of hand. Tracking begins tomorrow once again. It works, if I can just make myself do it. The weekend tends to always derail me.

Starting weight: 319.0 lb
Previous weight: 269.8 lb
Current weight: 271.4 lb
Current loss/gain: +1.6 lb
Total loss/gain: -47.6 lb
Distance to 60: 12.4 lb
Distance to Doctor’s WW Goal: 21.4 lb

Cross-posted to WebCudgel.com

I don’t want to take away from Jason’s post whatsoever, but another angle on why someone would fear becoming thin came to mind and I had to share it. I also felt it deserved more than just another comment.

My wife had been on Weight Watchers for a few years off and on and was getting anywhere after having had some success, but gaining it back (women have it tougher, not only because guys lose weight faster, but we have less emotional baggage and issues to contend with) mostly. She wasn’t getting anywhere and I’ll admit I didn’t help much when I chose to eat whatever I wanted (partially in defiance of WW).

However, we reached a point that she either had to do something or we had to pull the plug on her going to WW (why spend the money if it is just being wasted). I finally asked her what else did she want me to do to make this successful.

You know what she said. It’s what every wife dreams their own husbands would do.

“Would you go to Weight-Watchers with me?”

I had opened the door and I couldn’t say no. I knew I was a roadblock in her being successful at home and at the restaurants. And I had reached a weight I wasn’t happy with. I was over 300 pounds (319 when I darkened WW doors) and I did need to lose the weight.

Now what does all of this have to do with the “fear of getting thin”?

I knew that she was on a thread at this point. My biggest fear was being successful at it. Not for my sake but for hers. I knew, as a guy, I would lose faster than her. I knew that my initial successes might outshine any losses she had at the same time. Frankly, I was afraid of completely alienating her as I got all the applause in the meetings while she sat back and lost a little here or there.

I was afraid my losing weight would hurt her more than anything.

I know, it’s not about anyone else but me. I was doing this for me, but I was also doing this for her. I was doing this to help her and I was afraid it would do the opposite. Sure, I could blame her later and say that she talked me into it, but that’s the last thing I would want to say. It doesn’t help.

Eventually I reached a point where my weight-loss far exceeded hers… she had a tough year losing her mother and so on.

Eventually I reached a point where I weighed less than her. That probably hurt the most for both of us. She’s still struggling and I’ve not had a perfect journey either.

I just wanted you to know that sometimes love creates fears of getting thin. I love her and I want her to be successful more than anything. I still live with that fear of reaching goal and what may happen.

I’m in this for the longhaul. Maybe I’ll be an inspiration to her… I can only do my best and hope she catches up (and even passes me). I can hope.

Well, it could have been much worse, but I only gained 0.6 pounds this week. I did many things right, and some things wrong and some good things contributed to the bad.

First off, I got in two runs this week. The total of the two was just shy of 10 miles (9.96) with the 1st run on Wednesday being 3.80 miles and the 2nd run on Sunday being 6.16 miles. I was using the extra time on Sunday to start ramping up for the half marathon that is only two weeks away. I completed the run on Sunday with a time of 1hr 12min. Considering that the time limit for the half marathon is 4 hours, I’m sure I can finish in the allotted time (in fact, I’m certain I could do it in 3 hours).

However, I had said some things contributed to the bad. I ended up having a sore ankle on Monday that was feeling like the beginning of another gout attack. I knew I had not consumed enough liquids after the run and it bit me.

So I spent Monday at home and that was not good. Since I wasn’t going to be doing any exercise due to the ankle, I was just going to sit/lie around and pretty soon I was eating. At first it was within tolerable limits, but then stuff just started sounding so good. I showed little self-control and I know that showed on the scale.

I did do quite a bit of good this week and, for the most part, stuck to my points limits. It just all fell apart on Monday (plus I knew I had been doing good and had excused myself to eat more on Monday).

I’m going to be careful and try to get in a few more good solid runs (probably a few with interval training during the work week and another long run on Sunday). I don’t want to have a gout attack keep me from my first half marathon (never mind that it cost me $60 to sign up and I don’t want to waste that either). I’ve got to play safe.

Plus today was farmer’s co-op day, meaning we now have a ton of fruits and veggies to eat up and we have too much leftover from the last one. We’ve been eating out too much and so we gotta put the brakes to that for the next few weeks. Other than eating out on weigh-in night due to the time constraints, I think we’ll save the half-marathon day for a little celebrating. WHEN I finish it (not IF).

Starting weight: 319.0 lb
Previous weight: 269.2 lb
Current weight: 269.8 lb
Current loss/gain: +0.6 lb
Total loss/gain: -49.2 lb
Distance to 60: 10.8 lb
Distance to Doctor’s WW Goal: 19.8 lb

Cross-posted to WebCudgel.com