Defeat and Determination

Exerpt from this post

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All the people in the diet world strive for the following situation:

“Man, those chips look good. I’d like to eat those…. wait… wait… I don’t need these. I’m not that hungry. This will not help me lose weight, and I won’t feel any better.” And you move on without eating.

This is still so far from the truth from me that I don’t make it past the first sentence. The food goes from my hand to mouth before I realize what I’m doing, it seems. It’s like I’m not even in control of my own body sometimes. Instead of a quote, I get a picture:

When I am at home, I can limit myself to what I keep around me. At work I’m forced to pack something good, or take the time to drive to a location to pick something up (salad bar ftw). These things eliminate my biggest threat to weight loss.

Impulse.

I cannot lead a healthy life just avoiding impulse… delaying the ineveitablew. I have to face it. When people ask me “do you still eat out, can you still keep snacks in the house?” I respond “I do, and I will. I have to learn to live with these things”. Do I act on my own advice? Hellz no.

Coming into this, it was obvious Impulse would be the hardest part of weight loss, and it is proving itself mightily. Slowing down is a necessity. I don’t face any demons, I stick my tail between my legs and surrender before I even realize a battle has begun. Losing 40 pounds seemed so easy, and it kind was. But temptation will always be there, and I must learn to face it down and not avoid these decisions. An alcoholic can kick the habit if they live on an island with no booze.

Learn to ask myself those question I put above: slow down G. You don’t need those goddamn (delicious) cheeze-its!

On my way to the gym yesterday (185 pound squat and 195 pound deadlift FTW) I realized its time to prove myself. I deserve the weight I lost. I didn’t cheat the system, come hell or high water, I’m gonna get fit or die trying….