The Fear of Getting Thin – Another viewpoint

I don’t want to take away from Jason’s post whatsoever, but another angle on why someone would fear becoming thin came to mind and I had to share it. I also felt it deserved more than just another comment.

My wife had been on Weight Watchers for a few years off and on and was getting anywhere after having had some success, but gaining it back (women have it tougher, not only because guys lose weight faster, but we have less emotional baggage and issues to contend with) mostly. She wasn’t getting anywhere and I’ll admit I didn’t help much when I chose to eat whatever I wanted (partially in defiance of WW).

However, we reached a point that she either had to do something or we had to pull the plug on her going to WW (why spend the money if it is just being wasted). I finally asked her what else did she want me to do to make this successful.

You know what she said. It’s what every wife dreams their own husbands would do.

“Would you go to Weight-Watchers with me?”

I had opened the door and I couldn’t say no. I knew I was a roadblock in her being successful at home and at the restaurants. And I had reached a weight I wasn’t happy with. I was over 300 pounds (319 when I darkened WW doors) and I did need to lose the weight.

Now what does all of this have to do with the “fear of getting thin”?

I knew that she was on a thread at this point. My biggest fear was being successful at it. Not for my sake but for hers. I knew, as a guy, I would lose faster than her. I knew that my initial successes might outshine any losses she had at the same time. Frankly, I was afraid of completely alienating her as I got all the applause in the meetings while she sat back and lost a little here or there.

I was afraid my losing weight would hurt her more than anything.

I know, it’s not about anyone else but me. I was doing this for me, but I was also doing this for her. I was doing this to help her and I was afraid it would do the opposite. Sure, I could blame her later and say that she talked me into it, but that’s the last thing I would want to say. It doesn’t help.

Eventually I reached a point where my weight-loss far exceeded hers… she had a tough year losing her mother and so on.

Eventually I reached a point where I weighed less than her. That probably hurt the most for both of us. She’s still struggling and I’ve not had a perfect journey either.

I just wanted you to know that sometimes love creates fears of getting thin. I love her and I want her to be successful more than anything. I still live with that fear of reaching goal and what may happen.

I’m in this for the longhaul. Maybe I’ll be an inspiration to her… I can only do my best and hope she catches up (and even passes me). I can hope.