27 Apr
Including the Wife
Men’s Health magazine isn’t all about convincing those of us who are approaching 40 that we could look like Brad Pitt if we just work hard enough. It often publishes articles that are based in realism such as this one from the May 2007 issue.
You should take time to read the article, as there are many good points. I just want to take time to comment on one of them.
Item #2 talks about how our wives inadvertently (or is it?) sabotage our efforts at fitness. When we (men) shape up, the wife is faced with a choice; join you in getting fit or sabotage. According to the article, women often choose the latter. To counter this effect, the author suggests, “Include her by suggesting that she work out with you,” says Mohr. “Find mutually enjoyable activities, so it doesn’t come across as ‘You’re fat, so work out.’ “. I would be interested in how he thinks that I would go about doing that? I have tried to point out that we have a ‘family’ gym membership. Would you like to guess what she heard?
Can I get a witness? Or some advice?!
“We’re all in this together men, so keep your stick on the ice.” –Red Green
Posted by honi on 27.04.07 at 9:07 am
Hmm I do think a lot of women hear you are fat.. when their significant other says something to the affect of lets go work out… Different approaches can be.. Hey lets go take the dogs for a walk.. or. hey lets go for a walk.. or lets go for a swim.. or simply .. you know honey we have this great membership at the great club.. why dont we use it.. we are both getting older.. (fact) and we need to take care of ourselves so we will be around for each other.. I think it will be great if we could do this together.. If your fitness center offers massages get a couples massage after working out.. and if she still hears I am fat.. say .. sweetie.. So AM I.. lets do something about it together.. for the both of us… maybe that will work… works for me..
Posted by kellypea on 27.04.07 at 9:07 am
Well speaking as a wifey, I see the point of the article you bring up, but sabbotage? So reverse thinking would mean that my husband buys me a box of chocolates to say he hearts me, and I think he’s just trying to keep me fat. Actually, I’m thinking he doesn’t want to be beaten about the head and ears because he’s buying me chocolate. Or something like that. Interesting, though. And have you said your pennance of “our fatters” yet. Way funny.
Posted by fat guy on 27.04.07 at 9:07 am
Interesting article. I used to know a couple that were both pretty overweight and the male decided to do something about it. The female did exactly what you said and was always trying to get him to eat horrible things.
Posted by Cascadia Girl on 27.04.07 at 9:07 am
I would be curious to know whether you feel your wife is, in fact, trying to sabotage you… or at least in what ways do you feel her behaviors are holding you back? This would be a good starting place for making some suggestions to you.
Posted by John on 27.04.07 at 9:07 am
I do not feel she is sabotaging me. I merely saw this list of tips in Men’s Health and the suggestion that she go with me to the gym (that we pay monthly for) and the vexing response I get to that invitation.
Posted by Cascadia Girl on 27.04.07 at 9:07 am
Personal experience leads me to the conclusion that sometimes the spouse is the last person to try to coach personal change. If you are concerned for her health and well-being, lead by example (and occasionally mention how much better you feel) and she may be inspired. She will see for herself the physical change in you.
If you are frustrated by the cost of an unused membership, suggest you change the family membership to an individual one to save $$.
Posted by Rick on 27.04.07 at 9:07 am
John, I’m the last guy on here who needs to give any sort of advice when it comes to interpreting what women want. All I can say is, “I hear you, bro.” Guess I’ll just have to be a witness instead.
Men’s Health, I haven’t read that one since my more svelte years. This article is very pertinent to the discussion, though. It really speaks to environmental factors that influence our success.